Plane Trip Part I: Banned Items

During the drive to the airport, my mom kept insisting that I should take things like my father's veggie pills with me. I told my mom that 7:16 AM was the cut-off time for putting new things in my bag. This confused her, as she thought that I was alluding to airport regulations. I ended up explaining that the 7:16 cut-off was a self-imposed regulation. It is a courtesy to me so that I may not only drive the car, but also relax in the moments before my trip. She acknowledged that this may very well be a good idea, but that I would soon regret my decision not to take Vaseline Intensive Care with me. She is very wise, so she may be right.

I didn't bring any liquids because I misunderstood the new ORANGE ALERT regulation as a ban on them, but the Tsa guy made me feel like I was trying to get away with carrying some. He kept giving me quizzical looks and asking if I had any on specific parts of my person. "Is it in your pocket? Do you have liquid in your backpack? How about your purse? Do you have liquid there?" It was like trying to find Waldo in a depiction of The Last Supper. This is not a good simile, but I think that it is funny.

Also because he didn't say "Hi!" I was not on my best behavior, as I unconsciously responded to him as if he were a robot. "Yes, robot. No, robot," except that I didn't call him a robot. I just gave him unintentional signals that I thought that he was one. But I didn't even acknowledge his mad robot skill. People should receive smiles and positive feedback for a job well done. "Good robot!" He might have appreciated that, as he isn't one. Poor Tsa Robot-Man! Will anyone ever acknowledge your humanity? Or are you doomed to walk the relatively liquid-free path of life alone? Maybe he has a wife and three kids.

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