Funny Names: JoJo McGillicutty

I have a long list of funny names I made up. Here's a story from the owner of one. 

Okay, so Karl can be kinda off sometimes. You know that. I don't blame him. But this isn't about that. So forget what I said. He was doing fine in that sense anyway so forget it. And he's blameless with safety. You know that. You get in his car and you wear a seatbelt. No questions. No rolling stops. Responsible, right? You know he talks to his mom - his mom and everybody... you and me - on speakerphone when he's driving. But only when the roads are clear. Completely clear! Totally. He hits traffic, he clicks off. He sees a light. Red, yellow, green. Doesn't matter. He clicks off. It's happened to you before, I know. It happens to me all the time, I know. It's annoying. You call. Hello Karl, How are you Karl. Oh yeah, I'm doing fine thanks for calling. I was talking to my mother on the phone - he's always talking to his mom. I'm not putting him down. It's good. He has a good relationship with her. I wish I got along with my family like that. No Candice askin to borrow money or whatever, or Don, you know? Just a good convo with your mommo. Heh. I would love that. So he's saying, I was talking to my mom and she said- you know, he's telling you the groceries she got that day. Boring. Shit. Jojo, she got apples. Jojo, she got noodles and shit, man. I gotta call you back. I'm driving and I see another car. Click. He's not going to stay on the phone. He's responsible is what I'm saying. I mean he's really good and... I would trust him. So Mondaaay, uh, Tuesday. He's doing this with me Tuesday, on the phone in the car with his mom and the grocery list. "Jojo, she got eggs and whole milk and you know she don't buy whole milk unless she's making that omelette she makes and I think that she's gonna have that whole breakfast thing going on this weekend and you know I'm gonna head down there for- shit man, I gotta go! But his mom's a good cook, actually. So, anyway, he says, shit man, I gotta go 'cause you know there's a car on the road or something random like that, right? But there's no click, which is great. Because I get to be a witness to this... singular event. He keeps talking. I didn't know then that he was talking to me. He says, Ooh this is cool. I don't say anything because I don't want to distract him and I think maybe he doesn't know he hasn't hung up and I want to hear what it sounds like when you talk to yourself. That would be cool. So he says, It's this truck with see-through sides. There's this wrecked car in it. Ooh, it's one of those madd trucks. He's rubbernecking now! Ooh, the passenger side's all cru-ushed! That must of been nasty! What does it say... Don't drive... Okay. I'm embellishing there. He wasn't reading nothing. But after he says nasty! his cell cuts out. That must of been nasty. Click. So I think maybe he's, like, talking to himself and he sees that he didn't hang up or something. I'm not worried. I'm not concerned. Okay, I'll say now. Nothing bad happened. Everything's okay. He's not hurt. Nobody's hurt. But it's funny. So he calls later for me to pick him up. He's nicked his car into this truck with a wrecked car inside of it! Meta, right? But it's only a small dent. He's okay. The truck's okay. The wrecked car's okay. Well, that's not okay. But you know what I mean. It never was okay after its initial accident. Just a nick on Karl's car anyway. He just wanted a ride because he was shaken and he's a safe driver. He's a safe driver. I'm telling you. And you know! You know it. He called me because he doesn't want to drive while he's all shaken up. He admits to rubbernecking, he's ashamed. You know Karl. Blames himself for everything. He's a good guy, though. He shouldn't-shouldn't blame himself. He's responsible. But the thing is, man, the truck's sitting there too - the driver wants to make sure Karl's okay - so I get to see the truck! And the side of the truck, the truck with the crashed car in it says "Distracted driving kills." I  mean, he didn't die. Nobody died, which is good. But that's crazy, right? Because the goddamned see-through truck with a goddamned crashed car in it is a goddamned distraction! It's hilarious!

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